Valentine’s Day Report Card

Right before you headed out for your Valentine’s Day date, I urged you to make some mental notes. Observe how your partner was on the date, how prepared they were, and how they made you feel. Now it’s time to grade those notes!

Remember, you’re dating with intention. Every date or encounter is an opportunity to see how aligned someone may or may not be with the version you’re becoming. You’re not settling any more! You want and deserve it all! And that starts with using dates, such as Valentine’s Day, as a measuring stick to assess a partner’s suitability and alignment.

Now when I say grade your date, I’m not talking “pass/fail.” The pass/fail grading method generally means that as long as your grades equal to a C- or better, you’ll pass the class. Anything less, you’ll fail. You can see how that might come in handy if you’re struggling in your Advanced Calculus class. But in the dating world, it sounds a lot like getting credit for doing the bare minimum.

So you’re going to be using actual letter grades to determine just how well this date was. It’s either A, B, or F. No in between. Either they put in the time, effort and energy to pass with flying colors, or they didn’t.

So you need to think critically and objectively when you’re dating. Use these questions to reflect on your date:

• Did they intentionally plan the date or just “wing it/ go with the flow?”

• Did they make an effort to personalize the date (i.e. not just getting you any flowers, but the ones you said were your favorite)?

• How was the conversation between you two? Did you have a fruitful dialogue or did they monopolize every topic?

Using these notes, you’re now going to assign your grade. How will you know whether to give them an A, B, or F? My coaching gem below spells out the grading criteria to determine whether your date gets the green light or a red flag. Then, learn the four-point assessment method you’re going to use for every date you accept going forward.

Get out your notepad and your red pen. It’s time to fill out your Valentine’s Day report card.